


A Wedding Story

by LittleDarkling



Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Kink Meme, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 18:45:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDarkling/pseuds/LittleDarkling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The incredibly uninspired title pretty much covers it</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wedding Story

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Characters belong to DC/Vertigo. This is a work of fan love. No infringement is intended and no profit is made.
> 
> A/N: Inspired by this comment on the Losers Kink Meme from ages ago: http://thelosers-kink.livejournal.com/1368.html?thread=210520#t210520

 

 

 

“You’re trying to choke me!” Jensen accuses, again tugging at the windsor knot that he is fairly certain is cutting off circulation to his brain. “I’m going to die before even get to the altar…or the altar-type thing and it’ll be all your—”

 

“Jake!” Sophie slaps his hand away from the fourth time and re-tightens the knot. “Would you stop?!”

 

“I can’t breathe!” he argues, reaching for the tie again and yelping when Sophie pokes him with a safety pin.

 

“If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to talk and my job would be easier. Now stop bitching and if you touch that tie one more time, I’m going to punch you in the throat.” Jensen growls, but keeps his hands at his side as Sophie pins a bright red rose to the lapel of his tux.

 

“You know I am bigger than you now and that threat doesn’t work as well anymore. Also, I still have those pictures from your ‘punk phase’ back in high school. When you told Emily she couldn’t get her ears pierced did she know you used to have a nose ring? It would be a damn shame if those pictures suddenly resurfaced.” Sophie pauses to glare at her brother.

 

“Jacob William Jensen, don’t make me kill you on your wedding day.” She finishes with the rose and steps back to admire her handiwork.  “There now, you look fantastic.”

 

“Thank you,” Jensen says awkwardly. He certainly hopes he does; he feels ridiculous. He curls his hands into fists to resist the urge to pull at his tie. Abruptly, his sister’s face goes aghast.

 

“Oh, my god…Oh, my god!” Jensen looks around, startled.

 

“What? What?” Sophie’s large blue eyes are focused in horror at his legs.

 

“Is that chocolate?! Did you get chocolate on your pants?!” He blinks.

 

“I shared a candy bar with Emi earlier—” She slaps him on the head hard.

 

“You idiot! Get out of those pants!” Jensen looks down at his pants and then back at his sister. The stain is not even the size of a fly.

 

“It’s not even noticeable—” Another slap makes his teeth clash together.

 

“Take them off!” she shouts. “God, you’re like a two year old.”

 

“Ok, this is crazy,” Jensen mutters as he strips out of his pants and hands them to Sophie who immediately takes them to the small washbasin in the corner.  Jensen is left standing awkwardly in his boxers.

 

The door flies open then and Jolene breezes into the room, phone to her ear.

 

“No, you listen. I told you red roses. _Red_ roses. Not pink. This isn’t a Barbie wedding.” Jensen stares at her incredulously.

 

“Um, hi. Pants-less here.” She scowls at him and puts her hand up in a gesture, he supposes, meant to tell him to ‘shut up’. Jensen returns it mockingly and gets smacked in the chest for his trouble. 

 

“Yes! The ceremony starts in ten minutes. Get those things out of here before the reception, or you’re not getting paid.” She pats Sophie on the hand and there’s a completely indecipherable—at least indecipherable to Jensen—exchange and Sophie points to a paper on the counter, which Jolene picks up. 

 

“Lady, do I sound like I’m kidding?! Just do it. _Now_!” The last word is abruptly cut off as she leaves, closing the door behind her. Not a moment later Pooch pokes his head in.

 

“Hey, Jensen. Where’d you put your CD case?” Cougar’s youngest sister, Inez, ducks under his arm, sprinting into the room.

 

“ _Lo siento_ ,” she says. “I need another barrette.” Jensen watches her pick up a barrette from Sophie’s case and then she’s out the door again.

 

“Does anybody give a shit that I’m not wearing pants?!” the hacker asks. Pooch tilts his head, seriously contemplating the question. 

 

“Um, no. Look, CD case?” he presses.

 

“Why are you asking?” Sophie says, head snapping around.

 

“Well, tunes for the reception. I thought—” Pooch begins.

 

“No! No rap, no heavy metal! What is wrong with you?” Jensen and Pooch glance at each other and then Jensen looks back at his sister. 

 

“I’m sorry. Who’s getting married again? Cause I thought it was me,” he says. Sophie puts a hand up in his face in a suddenly familiar ‘just shut up now’ gesture and tells Pooch,

 

“Go see Celeste. She has the playlist.”

 

“Celeste?! You let Celeste pick the playlist? Oh, good. Three hours of whiny, sentimental pop songs. You know, if I never get an erection again, I’m blaming you.” Sophie’s face twists in disgust.

 

“Ok, one, I don’t ever want to hear my little brother use the word ‘erection’, again and two, I’m sure you can steal some pills for that,” she says with mock sympathy.

 

“That’s not funny.” She chuckles and drapes his pants over her arm.

 

“You cannot slow-dance to Rage, ok?” she reminds him.

 

“I can try,” Jensen says hopefully. Sophie just shakes her head. He knows that look; she’s had that look since she was seven. It means he is going to lose this argument. Jensen scowls. “Why didn’t you just let Emily pick the playlist? Could have slow-danced to some mind-numbing boy band shit.” Sophie sighs, shaking her head. 

 

“Jolene and I worked out the playlist. Nothing too sappy. I promise. Just…nice grown-up music—”

 

“No Celine?” he cuts in. Sophie rolls her eyes.

 

“Celine is a lovely—” At her brother’s glare, she concedes with a sigh. “Alright. Fine. No Celine. Now…” She holds out his trousers. “Put your pants on.” 

 

“Ok, fine. But I hear a hint of sap and those pictures are coming out.”

 

“And I’ll kick your narrow ass,” she replies smoothly.

 

“It’ll be worth it.” As Jensen finishes zipping up his pants, the door swings open again and Aisha leans in. 

 

“Sophie, we’re just about ready to go,” she says.

 

“Does anybody knock around here?” Aisha frowns at him.

 

“Shut up, Jensen.” Sophie chuckles.

 

“Thanks, Aisha. We’ll be out in a minute.” 

 

Sophie turns back to Jensen as the door closes. She carefully brushes her hand over the jacket, dusting away some imaginary bits of lint.

 

“You ready for this?” Jensen exhales a breath.

 

“Yeah, I am,” he murmurs.

 

“I’m really proud of you, little brother. Mum and Dad would have been proud too,” Sophie says as she adjusts his tie once more. Jensen smiles at her, taking her hand into his.

 

“Thanks.” There’s a sharp knock at the door and Jensen looks up in surprise. “Holy shit, you hear that? Someone in this house knows how to knock.” Sophie rolls her eyes, shoving him lightly in shoulder and goes to answer. 

Jensen resists the urge to tug his tie again while her back is turned.

 

When Sophie opens the door, she finds Cougar leaning against the jamb. 

 

“Oh, no. No. No seeing him before the wedding—” she begins, attempting to shove him back.

 

“Sophie. I’m not a blushing bride,” Jensen says, watching in amusement as Cougar braces his stance, rendering her efforts to move him entirely ineffective.

 

“It’s bad luck,” she argues.

 

“That is an antiquated tradition and by the way, it’s ridiculous. For starters, Cougar already knows what I look like. And if you’re worried about my virtue, you should know Cougar’s been despoiling me for the better part of four and half years—” Sophie shakes her head, again holding her hand up.

 

“Shut it, perv,” she orders. Jensen glances at Cougar, who smiles gently at him.

 

“Can you give us a minute?” he asks Sophie. She sighs, but relents.

 

“You have two. Make it quick,” she mutters as she slips past Cougar.

 

“Um, nose rings and Mohawks,” Jensen reminds her.

 

“Um, my foot, your balls,” Sophie shoots back. He laughs sarcastically.

 

“Wow. Clever. Get out.” She glances around to ensure there are no children in the hall before giving him the finger and shutting the door before he can respond.

 

Cougar raises an eyebrow in question and Jensen shakes his head.

 

“Don’t ask.” He takes a breath, smiling at his partner. “Come here.” Jensen tugs him forward, catching Cougar’s lips in a slow kiss. The sniper tastes like too strong coffee with a hint of honey. This kiss, a hundred kisses later, like the first. Huddled together under a tarp in a torrential downpour. The distant rumble of Humvees and the ever-present scent of gunpowder. Jensen’s existence narrowed down to the taste too strong coffee and a hint of honey. The hacker smiles when he draws back, letting those soft brown eyes fill his vision. “Hi.”

 

“ _Hola_ ,” Cougar replies and presses his forehead to Jensen’s shoulder. The hacker smiles, cradling the back of his partner’s head. Cougar’s long, dark hair hangs down his back in a single neat braid. It’s a good look on him.

 

“You ok?” Jensen asks softly. The sniper nods slightly.

 

“Mmm. My sisters, they might be insane, I think,” Cougar mutters.

 

“Yeah. I’m getting that. Mine, too. You realize this is our own damn fault, right?” He thumbs the edge of Cougar’s white lapel when the sniper straightens up. “We could have done the drive-through chapel thing. Instead, we put it in the hands of my sister, your sisters and Pooch’s wife.” He sighs. “We have only ourselves to blame.”

 

“It’s quiet here,” Cougar murmurs. As if on cue, Jolene’s voice can be heard from downstairs,

 

“I said red! Not pink, _red_! Are you all color-blind?! If I see another pink rose I promise you, you will be eating it!”

 

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “Hey, Big Cat? Are you happy?” Cougar nods.

 

“ _Sí_.”

 

“Not having second thoughts?”

 

“I’ve never had second thoughts about you.” Jensen tilts his head to steal another kiss just as the door opens again and Sophie pops her head in.

 

“Sorry to interrupt. I know you’re busy. But, if you don’t mind, we’re trying to have a wedding here and we kind of need you guys so we can get started.”

 

“Sophie, really?” Jensen asks incredulously.

 

“We’re on a schedule,” she insists. He sighs softly, looking back at his mate. Cougar’s smile is one of amusement and affection. He gestures to the door with a nod of his head and Jensen lets Cougar urge him out of the room.

 

“Your mama’s on a schedule,” he mutters as he walks by Sophie.

 

“That’s your mama, too, idiot.” Jensen gives her the finger and her eyes narrow dangerously. “Don’t make me beat you down in front of your soon-to-be husband.” Jensen leans in to kiss her cheek.

 

“Love you,” he says. Sophie takes his face in her hands and drags him down to press a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Love you, too.” 

 

*

 

The service is short and to the point. Neither Cougar nor Jensen wanted anything long and drawn out. Their vows were made long before this. There are tears, from Sophie, and possibly from Pooch, though he will not admit it (“ _Allergies, man. Allergies. Shut up, Jensen_.”).  Jolene and Cougar’s sisters beam joyfully, while Aisha and Clay maintain a stoic facade. 

 

The colonial farmhouse they’ve rented is magnificently prepared for the reception. And there is not a pink rose in sight. Jensen smiles, nudging his shoulder against Cougar’s as they take their seats. He is taken by surprise when the sniper, usually more reserved about public affection, leans in and kisses his cheek. It’s soft and quick, but it does make Jensen want to tackle him all the same.  

 

As the guests settle into their seats, Clay stands up and taps his spoon against his champagne flute.

 

“Um, if can have your attention, folks?” He clears his throat as the crowd turns to him. “Well, Sophie asked me to say a few words, so...” He pauses for a moment. “These guys deserve every happiness in the world. Can’t imagine two people better suited for each other.” He turns and raises his glass to them. 

 

“It has been an honor, gentleman.” Jensen and Cougar raise their glasses in salute. With that, Clay downs his champagne and announces,

“Alright. Let’s get shit-faced and eat some cake.” There’s an awkward scattering of applause and Sophie looks like she wants to shoot him. Jensen just grins.

 

Later, Clay gets drunk and passes out in his chair. Cougar’s eldest sisters, Celeste and Jessica, amuse themselves by flicking mints at his open mouth while Aisha shows them how to improve their aim. Emily and Inez are hoarding as much cake as they can get their little hands on. Cougar’s young nephew, Brian, is asleep by the dessert table. Sugar crash, judging by the smears of milk chocolate around his mouth. Jensen’s jacket is tucked around him. Jolene has consumed a touch too much champagne and is gleefully sexually harassing her husband.  

 

“It’s not sexual harassment if you enjoy it, Poochie,” Jensen points out distractedly as he scans the room for Cougar, who has pulled one of his sneaky sniper moves and disappeared. Pooch glares at him.

 

“Shut up, Jensen—hey!” He yelps, batting ineffectually at Jolene’s wandering hands. “Woman, stop doing that! There are children present!” 

 

*

 

Jensen finds Cougar outside, sitting against a column, dark eyes focused on the calm, black waters of Lake Tashmoo. He turns his head when he hears Jensen approach and smiles at the sight of the hacker.

 

“Hey. Got a little overwhelming in there, huh?” Jensen asks. He nods.

 

“ _Sí_.”

 

“Yeah. Thanks, by the way. Gave me an excuse to go looking for you. Although, I’m pretty sure everybody thinks we’re having sex right now.” He frowns thoughtfully. “Why aren’t we having sex right now?” Cougar snorts. “Hey, we’ve had sex in weirder places. You remember Kavir?” The sniper raises an eyebrow at that, apparently recalling that the post-coital glow of that particular episode was interrupted by Jensen being stung by a scorpion. The younger man frowns.

 

“Oh, right,” he mutters. If he was being honest, the sting itself was not quite as painful as explaining to Clay how he got stung on his bare ass.

 

Jensen settles down against the pillar and drops his head onto Cougar’s shoulder.

 

“You know what?” he says. “I’m horny.” He feels more than hears the sniper’s soft chuckle. “Hey, Cougar. We’re married, man. You. Are officially my husband.”

 

“Yes, I am,” Cougar murmurs.

 

“That’s cool.” He tilts his head to look up at Cougar. “I love you.” The older man smiles, thumbing Jensen’s bottom lip gently.

 

“ _Te amo_ , Jake.”

 

“Hey, Cougs?” He links their fingers. “I wanna get a puppy.”

 

“We can get a puppy,” Cougar replies.

 

“Good.” It is then that the strains of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ echo from the house. Jensen sighs and closes his eyes.

 

“Hey, did I ever tell you my sister went through this punk rock phase? Cause you would not believe the embarrassing pictures I’ve got.” Cougar laughs softly and kisses Jensen’s forehead.

 

End

 


End file.
